Wellbeing Series: Gaslighting at Work

Gaslighting at Work: Recognizing, Addressing, and Preventing Manipulation

Introduction

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that can have devastating effects, especially in the workplace. The term "gaslighting" has its origins in a play and film titled "Gas Light" from the early 20th century. In this blog, we'll explore the history of gaslighting and its usage, along with what gaslighting looks like at work, and provide strategies to combat it.

The History of Gaslighting

The term "gaslighting" finds its origins in a 1938 play titled "Gas Light" by British playwright Patrick Hamilton. The play was later adapted into two films, most notably the 1944 version directed by George Cukor, starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In the story, a manipulative husband attempts to convince his wife that she is losing her sanity by making subtle changes in their environment, including dimming the gaslights in their home. When she notices these changes and questions her own perceptions, he dismisses her concerns, causing her to doubt her reality.

The term "gaslighting" has since become a widely recognised concept in psychology and popular culture. It refers to a form of psychological manipulation in which an individual seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted person or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. In the context of the play and film, the gaslights dimming was a central element of this manipulation, hence the term "gaslighting." Let’s think about how this manipulation can happen in the work place, how to recognise this behaviour and how best to respond.

Understanding Gaslighting at Work

Gaslighting can manifest in various forms in a workplace setting:

Denying Reality: Gaslighters might deny that they said or did something when there's clear evidence to the contrary. For instance, they may promise a promotion and then deny ever making such a commitment to you.

Trivializing Feelings: They may belittle your emotions or concerns, dismissing them as irrational or overly sensitive. This can make you doubt the validity of your feelings. They may challenge your differences and lived experiences as none existent.

Projecting Blame: Gaslighters often shift blame onto others, even when they are at fault. They may accuse you of incompetence or wrongdoing to divert attention from their mistakes.

Withholding Information: Deliberate withholding of information or excluding you from important discussions can leave you feeling isolated and uninformed.

Isolation: Gaslighters may attempt to isolate you from colleagues and support networks, making it easier to manipulate and control you.

Recognising Gaslighting

Recognising gaslighting is the first step in addressing it and acknowledging this behaviour as a manipulation.

Here are signs to watch for:

Constant Contradictions: If your coworker or supervisor consistently contradicts themselves, it may be a gaslighting tactic.

Doubting Yourself: If you frequently find yourself questioning your judgment, memory, or emotions after interactions with a colleague, gaslighting may be at play.

Feeling Isolated: Gaslighters often attempt to isolate their targets from friends or allies at work.

Frequent Apologies: If you find yourself apologizing excessively, even for things that aren't your fault, this can be a sign of gaslighting.

Feeling Incompetent: Gaslighting can erode your confidence and leave you feeling incapable, even if you're highly competent in your role.

Addressing Gaslighting

If you suspect you're experiencing gaslighting at work, take these steps:

Document Everything: Keep a record of interactions, including emails, messages, and notes. Having evidence can be crucial if you need to address the issue formally.

Speak Up: Address the issue directly with the person involved, calmly and assertively. Express your concerns and provide specific examples.

Seek Support: Talk to trusted colleagues, mentor, coach or HR about your experiences. They can offer guidance and support.

Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries with the gaslighter. Make it clear what behavior you will not tolerate.

Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care to maintain your mental and emotional well-being. This can include seeking therapy or counselling to cope with the impact of gaslighting.

Preventing Gaslighting

Creating a workplace culture that prevents gaslighting is essential:

Promote Open Communication: Encourage employees to express concerns and provide a platform for them to do so safely.

Educate on Gaslighting: Training on recognising and addressing gaslighting can empower employees to protect themselves and their colleagues.

Lead by Example: Leadership should model respectful, honest, and transparent communication.

Implement Policies: Establish clear policies against workplace harassment and manipulation tactics.

Conclusion

Gaslighting is a harmful manipulation tactic that has no place in a healthy work environment. Recognising the signs, addressing it assertively, and promoting a workplace culture that values open communication are essential steps to combat gaslighting. By collectively working to prevent this behaviour, we can create workplaces where everyone feels respected, heard, and empowered.

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